I used to be audacious. I was that girl that wouldn't hesitate to smack you in the mouth if you needed it. Now, things are so different. I try to avoid confrontation, I would rather hurt with words... "kill 'em with kindness" or at least show their ignorance by using words they don't understand. Man, sometimes I long for the girl I used to be. Nothing would please me more right now than to just let loose and really let someone have it. I feel my body start to shake with the urge to curse, yell and threaten... but, instead I take the high road... what a wimp I am now! I never wanted to be this way. To be the girl that people think they can walk all over or verbally abuse, and she'd take it. How did this happen? What can I do about it? If I step up now, I'll just cause more trouble, but if I don't... I'm going to start hating myself.
I'm so tired of being this doormat. Of letting someone think she can be civil when it's convenient; when she needs something, but be brutal and try to take what's mine when she doesn't. I want it to stop. I want to be stood up for. I want to be left out of the whole damn thing. I just want to live my life happily and peacefully. Is that so much to ask?
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